The Encouragement Foundation

He was in the first third grade class I taught at Saint Mary’s School in Morris,
Minn. All 34 of my students were dear to me, but Mark Eklund was one in a
million. Very neat in appearance, but had that happy-to-be-alive attitude that
made even his occasional mischievousness delightful.

Mark talked incessantly. I had to remind him again and again that talking
without permission was not acceptable. What impressed me so much, though,
was his sincere response every time I had to correct him for misbehaving -
“Thank you for correcting me, Sister!” I didn’t know what to make of it at first,
but before long I became accustomed to hearing it many times a day.

One morning my patience was growing thin when Mark talked once too often,
and then I made a novice-teacher’s mistake. I looked at him and said, “If you say
one more word, I am going to tape your mouth shut!”

It wasn’t ten seconds later when Chuck blurted out, “Mark is talking again.” I
hadn’t asked any of the students to help me watch Mark, but since I had stated
the punishment in front of the class, I had to act on it.

I remember the scene as if it had occurred this morning. I walked to my desk,
very deliberately opened my drawer and took out a roll of masking tape.
Without saying a word, I proceeded to Mark’s desk, tore off two pieces of tape
and made a big X with them over his mouth. I then returned to the front of the
room. As I glanced at Mark to see how he was doing he winked at me. That did
it! I started laughing. The class cheered as I walked back to Mark’s desk,
removed the tape and shrugged my shoulders.

His first words were, “Thank you for correcting me, Sister.”

At the end of the year I was asked to teach junior-high math. The years flew by,
and before I knew it Mark was in my classroom again. He was more handsome
than ever and just as polite. Since he had to listen carefully to my instructions in
the “new math,” he did not talk as much in ninth grade as he had in the third.

One Friday, things just didn’t feel right. We had worked hard on a new concept
all week, and I sensed that the students were frowning, frustrated with
themselves – and edgy with one another. I had to stop this crankiness before it
got out of hand. So I asked them to list the names of the other students in the
room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name. Then I told
them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates
and write it down.

It took the remainder of the class period to finish the assignment, and as the
students left the room, each one handed me the papers. Charlie smiled. Mark
said, “Thank you for teaching me, Sister. Have a good weekend.”
That Saturday, I wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of
paper, and I listed what everyone else had said about that individual. On
Monday I gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was
smiling. “Really?” I heard whispered. “I never knew that meant anything to
anyone!” “I didn’t know others liked me so much!”

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. I never knew if they
discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn’t matter. The exercise
had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one
another again.

That group of students moved on. Several years later, after I returned from
vacation, my parents met me at the airport. As we were driving home, Mother
asked me the usual questions about the trip – the weather, my experiences in
general. There was a light lull in the conversation. Mother gave Dad a side-ways
glance and simply said, “Dad?” My father cleared his throat as he usually did
before something important. “The Eklunds called last night,” he began.

“Really?” I said. “I haven’t heard from them in years. I wonder how Mark is.”

Dad responded quietly. “Mark was killed in Vietnam,” he said. “The funeral is
tomorrow, and his parents would like it if you could attend.” To this day I can
still point to the exact spot on I-494 where Dad told me about Mark.
I had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. Mark looked so
handsome, so mature. All I could think at that moment was, Mark, I would give
all the masking tape in the world if only you would talk to me.

The church was packed with Mark’s friends. Chuck’s sister sang “The Battle
Hymn of the Republic.” Why did it have to rain on the day of the funeral? It was
difficult enough at the graveside. The pastor said the usual prayers, and the
bugler played taps. One by one those who loved Mark took a last walk by the
coffin and sprinkled it with holy water.

I was the last one to bless the coffin. As I stood there, one of the soldiers who
had acted as pallbearer came up to me. “Were you Mark’s math teacher?” he
asked. I nodded as I continued to stare at the coffin.

“Mark talked about you a lot,” he said.

After the funeral, most of Mark’s former classmates headed to Chucks
farmhouse for lunch. Mark’s mother and father were there, obviously waiting for
me. “We want to show you something,” his father said, taking a wallet out of his
pocket. “They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might
recognize it.”
Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper
that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. I knew without
looking that the papers were the ones on which I had listed all the good things
each of Mark’s classmates had said about him. “Thank you so much for doing
that” Mark’s mother said. “As you can see, Mark treasured it.”

Mark’s classmates started to gather around us. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly
and said, “I still have my list. It’s in the top drawer of my desk at home.” Chuck’s
wife said, “Chuck asked me to put this in our wedding album.” “I have mine
too,” Marilyn said. “It’s in my diary.”

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet
and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. “I carry this with me at all
times,” Vicki said without batting an eyelash. “I think we all saved our lists.”
That’s when I finally sat down and cried. I cried for Mark and for all his friends
who would never see him again.

by Sister Helen P. Mrosia